I had been posting everyday (sometimes several times a day) since the 1st and up until Wednesday and it's now Sunday. The good news is that I've been so busy doing everything that I'm supposed to that there really wasn't time to sit down and write a proper post. The bad news is that I also have a touch of a cold or flu or pregnancy symptoms (not really, I'll get into that in a bit) and so I've been crashing earlier than usual, therefor sleeping during my late-night blog time. In case you needed a visual aide:
Here's a review of the last half of the week in regards to resolutions.
-Completely stop using plastic and paper bags.
Success! Even Alex is getting into it and helping me remember our reusable bags.
-Work out for at least 30 minutes, 3 times a week.
Well, I did work out for 45 minutes one day. I took my running clothes to work with me on Wednesday so that I could run around the lake afterwards, but when it came down to it...I just wanted to go home and hang out with Paul and Alex. I thought I could shake off this flu/cold/hysterical pregnancy in a day or two, but I still feel like major crap. Regardless of the insane amounts of liquid spewing from my nose, Paul's job tonight is to make me go workout for an hour to make up for the fact that I didn't work out 30mins/2 days.
-Be more patient, calm, understanding of mistakes as a wife aka Operation Simmer the F*** Down, Abby
I just asked Paul if I had done better in this area over the last week. His response was, "you've been....good." So I guess there's still room for improvement there. I'll improve his- WAIT WAIT WAIT, calming, patience, sweetness. Ommmmm.
-Create something each day.
This one has been the easiest! The girl with fox ears went from a sketch, to a painting to the trash. But over the few days I worked on it, I really enjoyed it. Til I hated it. And threw it away.
I also did a really weird sketch in the parking lot at school while I waited:
And this is what my living room looked like this morning. I did 4 separate water color paintings.
-Figure out the design for our room and living room.
Though I didn't buy anything fun or interesting, I DID rearrange the entire living room/dining room. It's a start. Big shout out to my husband for moving all the heavy stuff from corner to corner til I thought it felt right. He's a saint!
-Lose 10 vanity pounds.
Don't ask me how, because I honestly don't know. The scale (which is very reliable and never lies to me even when I beg it to) says I've lost 3.5 pounds? I worked out once. I've been sick, but I haven't missed any meals. I even weighed myself 2 days in a row at different times and it still says I lost 3.5 lbs. I'll take it....but I still don't trust it...
-Get pregnant.
I don't know if I am. I miss the blissful ignorance when I didn't know about all of the websites and forums on how to get pregnant. Back then (way back like 2 months ago ha), all I knew was when we should have sex if we wanted to get pregnant or should not have sex if we didn't want to. That's all it took, the actual act, right? Well, now the internet has made me feel ...crazy... and like I'm doing it all wrong. There are forums FULL of women who take different herbs on different days and track their temperature and take ovulation tests and do headstands post-coitus.... It kinda puts a lot of pressure on someone who just wants to make a baby the old-fashion, stress-free way and have sex with their partner. I know, the only person who is putting stress and pressure on me IS me, and I need to somehow block my phone and laptop from being able to read these things. Which brings me to my next point: when you have babies on the brain, you mistake a lot of things for pregnancy symptoms. And the internet doesn't help any there either! I searched for "runny nose, temp 99.3, sore boobs" to see if there was any crazy flu out there that I need to watch out for and the whole first page of results was from baby-making forums. I realize writing all of this kind of makes me sound like a stupid, baby-crazy idiot....but after I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that maybe someone else out there is feeling the same way and needs to hear that they're not the only one. Underneath it all, I know I'll get pregnant when/if I'm supposed to and I need to remember that life is really hard sometimes and bringing someone else into this world where they'll have their own amazing, fun, sad, trying, exciting, heartbreaking, beautiful experience is a really. big. deal.
To end on a not-so-heavy and cuter note....
Thursday was a long day. Feeling totally under the weather; I took Alex to school, worked, went to the bank picked Alex up, she lost her phone so we retraced her footsteps through the campus (didn't find it until the next day), went to Target to get her school supplies for the next quarter, went to the grocery store, came home and reviewed all her grades/assignments online, made dinner...and by that point, I was DONE. I went and took a bath then got in bed without even eating the dinner that I made (I guess I did skip one meal this week then, but not 3.5 lbs worth!). When I woke up on Friday, Paul had already taken Alex to school for me and let me sleep in and this note was on the table:
The best thank-you's are the ones that catch me completely by surprise. Somedays it feels like I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off and nobody really notices just how much work goes into making our house function....then one of them will make something like this and remind me why I love them so much. Origami hearts with a couple nice words on it? Absolutely perfect. <3
PS- Spring '12 semester starts for me tomorrow. Hoping to kick some ass.
Good job keeping up with the resolutions! I'll get a little personal on here since you are so open with your journey. I know what you're going through with the internet pregnancy research/ symptoms of pregnancy being symptoms of everything else, etc... I did that so many times too, even though we weren't trying to conceive, I wanted a baby and so certain months I would feel certain that I must be pregnant, and every time I would feel disappointed when I found out I was not. I know that reading CAN make things more stressful when trying to conceive but, I HIGHLY recommend the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. This book is so amazing in helping women to understand their bodies in general and how they work in a medical yet understandable and interesting way and according to her, this method has a very high success rate. The chapter on trying to conceive is amazing and very comprehensive but not in an overwhelming way. Even though we weren't trying to get pregnant, the day after we had our little 'oopsie', because of this book and what I knew about my body and my cycle, that time I really knew just how high the chances were that I was pregnant. Of course it wasn't until a little over 2 weeks later that I found out for sure, and was still somewhat in shock, but I'm telling you, this book is great. If you'd like to borrow it, I would be more than happy to loan it to you, even drop it off at your place if you'd like. Let me know! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Meagan! Sounds like something I'll wantto read :) where are you guys living now? Maybe I can swing by after class some day and grab it!
ReplyDeleteWe're on El Toro Road, right across the street from Saddleback Church. Our complex is called River Oaks Apartments. I'll email you my phone number on Facebook :)
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